Chad Peper Knows How to Get sober in one day.
Chad knows how to get sober in one day. Do you believe that it’s possible for an alcoholic to get sober in one day? Chad does. He did it!
Chad Peper once believed he could manage alcohol addiction just fine…until reality forced a major wake-up call. This conversation is about redemption, responsibility, and the courage to rewrite one’s story.
This discussion between Chad Peper (from the “Doin’ Our Best” Podcast) and Jennifer Stirling-Campbell is deep and vulnerable. In this episode, Chad highlights his journey through alcohol addiction and recovery. Chad’s addiction lasted for 10 years and significantly impacted his life, though he hid his secret extremely well from his friends and colleagues. After his first divorce, his drinking escalated to the point that it became a daily routine. Chad would work, nap, drink heavily into the night…and then do it all over again. The addiction took an emotional, physical, and financial toll, costing him around $1800 per month.
DUI Arrest, Shame, and Guilt Led to Temporary Sobriety…and A later relapse
Despite a DUI arrest in 2016, which caused him immense shame, guilt, and financial consequences, Chad eventually relapsed after a brief period of sobriety. Although his girlfriend (now his sweet wife) never encouraged his drinking, she chose to love him unconditionally, and her support played a crucial role in his eventual decision to change.
long-term change came when He connected sobriety to a Higher purpose
However, Chad’s biggest turning point came in November 2017 when he realized he was going to be a father. When he realized that his child would be looking up to and relying on him, he decided that he didn’t want to be an absent or irresponsible dad. And in that moment, he made a firm decision to quit drinking completely. Quite literally, once he made the decision, he became sober in one day. Today, he still credits his wife and the birth of his first child as the primary reasons for his decision to finally make this lasting change. A proud and highly-involved dad of three beautiful little girls, his “beautifully chaotic” household is filled with ballerina tutus, soccer practice, and gymnastics classes. Now sober for over 8 years, Chad marks his “day of sobriety” every year with a celebratory post on social media. He is 100% confident and committed in his decision to stay sober for the rest of his life.
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In this photo, Chad Peper is sitting in the middle 🙂
Highlights from Episode 16: How To Become Sober in One Day
- Becoming sober in one day comes from making a firm, non-negotiable decision.
- Long-term sobriety only comes when one connects sobriety to a deeper purpose.
- Changing how we identify and see ourselves can help our decision to become sober “stick.”
- Personal choices can break generational patterns of addiction and lead to a better life for the next generation.
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Full Transcript: Episode 16: How to Get Sober in One Day
Chad Peper (00:00)
And I said, I don’t want to be an absent dad because of alcohol.
Chad Peper (00:05)
I probably would not be alive.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (00:08)
This is real life, right?
A miracle, I would say, that two people can stay married forever for this life and make it work. I mean, there’s lots of failures. I’ve had two of them, but I’m really grateful for the five-year marriage that I have right now and still lots of progression to be made. And I think you mentioned chaos. I actually listened to
Chad Peper (00:30)
It is, is.
Yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (00:53)
something specifically about finding organization and creativity, like taking chaos and making it into something beautiful and creative. And so that reminded me of that. And One of the things that they talked about was that in the ancient tradition, Usually the evil character was chaos. And then the hero of the story would come and organize the chaos or defeat the one creating the chaos and that all would be made well.
And some people kind of had, it was a discussion and some people were kind of almost like, “No, like chaos is good because it helps us to grow.” And I’m like, ‘Well, yes, of course there’s a purpose to chaos, but we don’t want to lean into the chaos. We want to move away from the chaos and create. So I suppose as a parent, what is your biggest challenge in creating
Chad Peper (01:33)
Right.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (01:44)
Organization or beauty from the chaos. Because kids are really good at the chaos. And too, they’ll make messes and then they’re like, whoa, this is chaotic. And they’ll move into a new part of the house where it’s not as chaotic and then make a chaotic mess there.
Chad Peper (01:56)
It is a daily a daily struggle not a struggle. It’s a daily occurrence in our house because we have a variety ages Our six-year-old she you know kind of does her own thing and then her four-year-old just makes a hurricane out of everything and then our one-year-old obviously she just grabs something and throws it somewhere else, you know, so it’s
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (02:02)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (02:21)
We’re always following behind and picking up and putting things away. And it’s just like this circle that continues through the house. How do we make something beautiful out of all this? I think it’s all in a beauty of its own. It’s beautifully chaotic. Our life would not be what it is if we didn’t have this. And it’s something that I wanted since I was a young man.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (02:29)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (02:50)
Obviously it didn’t happen until I was almost 40. But it was something that I wanted for so long. And same with my wife. She wanted to be a mother And it took us going through our trials get where we’re at. And now I think back, I’m like, man, If the chaos that we have right now didn’t exist, it would be just something just utterly chaotic and just a complete mess. I probably would not be alive and my wife would she would be with someone else because she’s just that amazing where any guy would be lucky to have her because she’s devoted she’s a wonderful mother and of course we we butt heads and we fight about silly things but that’s what makes our life beautifully chaotic.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (03:28)
Yeah.
Chad Peper (03:42)
You know, in
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (03:42)
So let’s speak more to that. Because I really want to talk about your story, which is incredible because in one of my previous podcasts, I talk about how the decision to decide is the most important decision we will ever make. And I think you would agree with that statement. And So what happened to you and you can recreate or reframe the story is that you…
Chad Peper (04:11)
No.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (04:12)
You had an extreme addiction to alcohol for 10 years. was one of those really, really…like consumed your life completely. kind of.
Chad Peper (04:17)
Yeah.
It really did and I don’t know if a lot of people that are close to me really know how deep it affected me. Because I did hide it and I hid it very well.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (04:32)
Mm-hmm. Because you did a really good job of covering.
Chad Peper (04:38)
So how it, you know, and I don’t even really know how it started. It just happened. And it was just there and it took me a long time to realize that, “Yes, here it is. And there were many things that happened.”
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (04:51)
How long did it take you to figure out that you had a problem? Like, was it years that you thought you were fine and-
Chad Peper (04:55)
A long time, a long time. It was years. Yes, and because it was just a ‘normal’ to me, you know, I didn’t realize it until things started happening. so I’ll just kind of jump into my story. got divorced and prior to my first marriage, it was a social thing, you know, and I controlled it well. was just something that young people do.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (05:03)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (05:23)
You know, and now that I look back at it, even prior to that, I still think of it as social, but that’s kind of where it all started and it started building and taking a hold of me. So I divorced and I remember on my divorce date, as soon as I was done in court, I went to the bar and my court hearing or date, was like 10 o’clock in the morning.
As soon as I was done with that, I took the day off from work because I’m gonna go drown myself afterwards. So I headed to the bar and I didn’t stop until bar time. So figure, I started at noon. Bar time here is 2 a.m. That’s a good 14 hours of drinking. And
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (06:06)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (06:08)
After that, it just progressed to a daily thing.
I was high functioning. So I would go to work. I would do my shift at work and I was an office worker so I wasn’t operating machinery or doing anything unsafe like that but I was still high functioning where I was able to go to work. I would get off work, go home, take a nap. When I would get up from my nap, I would head to the bar. My dinners consisted of bar food and alcohol,
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (06:30)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (06:44)
and
if it was beer or mixed drinks or whatever it was, typically during the work week, this sounds so silly, but I was semi-responsible where I would only drink beer. But when the weekends rolled around, it was hard liquor. And it was a daily thing. I would go, come home, take a nap, go until the bar’s closed, get home from the bar, get a few hours of sleep, and then get up for work and do it all over again.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (06:53)
Hmm.
Hmm.
Chad Peper (07:12)
And there was times where I can guarantee you I was still intoxicated when I went to work, but I covered it up well enough that nobody really knew what was going on. And I did this for probably 10 years. And when I first met my current wife, she did not encourage me to drink, she didn’t do anything to progress my…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (07:25)
Yeah.
Chad Peper (07:41)
addiction further. She was there. She supported me on the good things. You know, she didn’t support me going to drink or doing anything like that.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (07:50)
Mm-hmm.
But she saw something in you that she liked.
Chad Peper (07:56)
But she saw something in me that she liked and I still question her. I’m like, what were you thinking? You got yourself into some serious…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (08:02)
She was, I would say she’s lucky. Not everyone ends up being married to someone who loves their family as much as you do. And and who decides to give that up. I mean, a lot of people don’t change. So what caused you to change?
Chad Peper (08:18)
Yeah, it.
I’m trying to think of the year. It was probably about 2016. I crashed my vehicle and I left the scene. Nobody saw it happen. Nobody did anything, but I left. And now can imagine the police departments around here are probably like, what was that? But I crashed my vehicle.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (08:42)
Yeah.
Chad Peper (08:47)
It didn’t faze me a bit. I drove back to where I was living at the time and I woke up in the morning and I was like, “What happened?” There were bits and pieces but I had passed out behind the wheel and I hit some street signs or some some road signs and wiped those out, damaged my truck; that was my first wake-up call. Did it do anything at the time? No. It wasn’t that wasn’t the right time for me.
So then maybe a year after this time it did get me. I went to a party at my local spot. They had a band that night and this was one of the spots probably 95% of the time that’s where I went. I go in there, everybody knows your name, they’re your friend….
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (09:32)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (09:35)
Left there, and I was arrested for drunk driving.
And I can remember this was two days before Christmas. It was the day before Christmas Eve. So 23rd of December in 2016 16.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (09:50)
Hmm.
Chad Peper (09:54)
That one really hit. I was so ashamed of myself that I did not go to Christmas, did not spend any time with my family. I called my brother to pick me up from the police station night when it happened because he was the only one that he had no opinion on it. I knew he had an opinion inside. But he wasn’t vocal about it. He came to pick me up and said,
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (10:13)
Mm-hmm.
But he wasn’t vocal and shaming you about it.
Chad Peper (10:26)
you know, whatever.
And the shame and the guilt and the just… BOOM in your face, ‘Well, here you are.
This is now on your record. This is it.’
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (10:38)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (10:39)
I can’t even describe the shame. It just consumed me. And I was kind of dating my wife now at the time and she could not believe it. She didn’t judge me. She knew that I was at fault.
I think she actually came to spend Christmas with me.
I didn’t want to go anywhere and show my face and you know just…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (11:09)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (11:11)
engulf in the flame or whatever
She spent it with me and at that time it hit… for the first time. So I quit drinking after that for a long time. I’m like I can’t just be the shame factor was one thing and then you look at the the financial factor of of what just happened you have pork costs and everything that goes with it…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (11:36)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (11:40)
and
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (11:41)
Well, and alcohol is pretty expensive too. It’s quite a drain.
Chad Peper (11:45)
It is, it is. And on any given night it was $80. Easily, easily. And so you multiply that by, it was six days a week that I would do this. I would generally take off Sundays and not do anything on Sundays; not drink on Sundays. So you figure eight, know that $80 times six days a week, that adds up.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (11:51)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, it’s like $480 a week. You know, you’re looking at, what, $1,800 a month? Yeah.
Chad Peper (12:14)
Yeah. And that’s just an average. There’s other… Yeah.
So I spent a small savings on alcohol in 10 years; easily.
And so when that happened, I was like, okay, that was a wake up call. I’m going to stop now. And I did. I stopped for probably five months.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (12:40)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (12:42)
And during this time, I’m still dating my wife and everything happens.
And we had a good, I started back up again, drinking and….
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (12:52)
Yeah. Well, when you said the shame and the guilt was consuming, it made me think that that could be a deterrent for a while. But shame and guilt is also what causes people to go back into addiction. And so I don’t think it’s a permanent fix, the shame and the guilt, that it usually goes full circle and then you end up using again. It has to come from something else, not shame and guilt.
Chad Peper (13:11)
Not in.
Yes.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (13:19)
And according to you, was what happened next, which is the cool part of the story.
Chad Peper (13:24)
Yeah, yeah. And so I’m trying to think, I know my steel trap of a memory has gotten a little rusty over the years.
Chad Peper (13:37)
And the next week we’re both at work we worked at the same place was back into my drinking habits and all this and and found out that she was pregnant
And that was a big wake up call, but still at the time it was like not there. We’re having this
I was not a good person at the time. I was not good to her. There were other extenuating circumstances going on behind the scenes. We won’t dive into those with this conversation, but there were things going on with me in my personal she’s pregnant. We’re gonna have a baby. And it was sometime that summer, late summer.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (14:18)
Mm.
Chad Peper (14:24)
Aome November and I remember the date I remember exactly everything about it.
Deer hunting here in Wisconsin is a tradition. It is a big deal and so I hunted for years and years and years with my best friend. We always hunted together and November 18th was the start of deer camp; here in November 18th of 2017.
And I remember the day. It’s also my dad, my dad’s birthday. That was the day after sitting through everything and realize everything, I am going to have a child. This child is going to look up to me. They’re going to depend on me. I cannot be just some jerk of a dad, some bum on the street, an alcoholic. I do not want to be that dad. November 18th of 2017 was the day.
That I said, that’s it. From that day, and it sure made, don’t get me wrong, I was absolutely grateful, it sure made Deer Camp strange that year. Because prior to that, it was me and the boys, and we’d go and have our beers, and then we’d go shoot guns the next day. But that was the day that I said, enough is enough. Like, that’s it. November 18th of 2000. That was my moment.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (15:30)
Ha ha ha!
Hmm.
That was your moment of decision.
Yeah.
Chad Peper (15:52)
And there were a lot of things that played into it, but most of all it was my now wife and the fact that we were going to have a I learned later, what I had going on. And my wife had her issues with alcohol, not her, but with her family. And she, had that going on. And I said, I don’t want to be an absent dad.
Even though I may be there, will be absent because of alcohol. I said, “That’s it.”
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (16:20)
Yeah.
Would you say that the decision was more heavily, ‘I’m going to be a good dad,’ and then the alcohol just fell away? Or was it, ‘I have to…I’m going to quit alcohol so that I can be a good dad?’ I mean, they kind of go together, of course. But what do you think was the driving factor here?
Chad Peper (16:36)
Yeah, I it.
⁓ there’s a lot.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (16:41)
Like I can’t…. Like
I feel like when people say, ‘I can’t do this,’ it just makes them want to do it more. And it’s more of a driving force if you’re like, I can do this or my life could look like this if I, ABC.
Chad Peper (16:57)
Yeah, boy, that’s a tough one.
The way that I looked at it is…I look at my dad and my friends and they don’t have a problem controlling themselves with it. With me, it wasn’t so much about control, controlling it, was I just couldn’t. Because one would lead into two, into three, by the end of it I’m…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (17:13)
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (17:30)
It’s bar closed, I’m having a good time but I’m also 12 beers in or however many drinks in I just never found I could just stop.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (17:34)
Hmm.
Yeah, and you had to want to commit to that. And before that, there wasn’t that desire. So what do you think was the biggest factor keeping you from making that choice? That moment of decision 10 years ago? What made it so hard?
Chad Peper (17:46)
And yes.
You’re a-
It was just it was just there. It was just there and that may just sound so…. So you know, not not really to the point but that’s how it was. It was just there; it was just something that I did, and part of who I was; exactly; it was part of my identity at the time. And knowing what I know now it was also in my genes
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (18:15)
Part of your identity.
Chad Peper (18:29)
And it’s my biological dad was an alcoholic. That’s how he died. But I did not find that out until years after the fact, know, I don’t tell many people at all. My friends; my close friends know. Obviously my family knows. But my drinking friends or
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (18:39)
And you said you don’t tell many people this.
Chad Peper (18:55)
Acquaintances had no idea and a lot of them still don’t and they won’t quite a road with me. I have my circle; I have my tribe, and
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (19:01)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chad Peper (19:08)
What they know about me…. they can take who I am for face value. I mean, because now that’s really what I am. I am a devoted and loving dad and husband and the soccer dad and the dance dad.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (19:21)
Yeah, tell me more about that. What kind of dad did you want to create and you have created?
Chad Peper (19:28)
Exactly who I am. That’s who I wanted to be I I am an emotional dude and…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (19:30)
You
Chad Peper (19:37)
not one to shy away from crying or my feelings or or anything like that. I wanted to be the the dad that his girls will dress up and put on lipstick and paint his nails. That’s that’s who I am. hasn’t happened yet
I have no problem getting on stage with my girls and dancing in a tutu. Whatever they want me to do, I am like all in. You can count me in. No question about it.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (19:57)
Yeah.
Mm.
Chad Peper (20:04)
And so here I…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (20:04)
I think it feels to me like your pride when it comes to your girls is so much in your girls that any other pride just falls away…pride in your appearance or pride in what people will think. It’s just like you don’t care because you’re so proud of these girls.
Chad Peper (20:16)
I have I don’t. I am.
I am so proud of these girls and who they are and everything about them, I am proud of.
My six-year-old; she’s almost seven; she is very very very mathematically smart. She doesn’t see it, but I see it exactly gets that for me. I would consider myself a math genius. You know was taking college math and junior high and high school. I was in like, very, very advanced college math. I didn’t do anything with it, but it comes easy to me and I see that in her.
My four-year-old, is just a little spitfire of, she has the attitude on her like you would not believe. They all have attitude of course. And then my one-year-old is…. She’s the daredevil.
I thought my four-year-old was, but our one year old is gonna put her to shame. Up to this point, she has this little slide; a Little Tykes slide. It’s like, I think it’s the Little Tykes…My Little Tykes First Slide or whatever it is. And it’s not that high. It’s meant for little girls or little kids their age. She’s one. But she climbs up to the top and she stands on top with her hands in the air.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (21:08)
Mm.
What’s the most daring thing she’s done up to this point?
Chad Peper (21:37)
And just starts like jumping up and down. And it just terrifies me because, you know, it’s…. For her, a four-foot drop is still gonna do some damage.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (21:46)
That’s it, yeah.
It’s a good thing they’re floppy. I had a similar experience with my now two-and-a-half year old and it wasn’t that long ago. But we have a goat pen that’s about as tall as a roof. And the panels on the side have basically a cage so that he could put his feet in it and climb. And he climbed on top of that roof. And I was cooking, I was making soup at the time and I had the door open, like I was checking on him because he wanted to be outside. And my neighbors are actually the ones that were like, “Hey; hey!
Your son!” He was on top of the roof jumping; jumping on top of this roof, and I’m just like like, ‘My neighbors are…. Oh this is so embarrassing!’ And…you know; so glad I have nice neighbors that didn’t call CPS, but he wouldn’t come down I had to and it’s not as easy for an adult to climb up that thing as a beat as a kid So it took some doing I got up there finally and grabbed him, but oh my gosh. I was…. Terrifying!
Chad Peper (22:46)
It is; ⁓ it’s…it’s terrifying and my wife she’s always…. You have to let them experience this stuff like like, “What did you do when you were a kid?” I said, “I was crazy; I know what I was doing; I was crazy!” and and I look back now and I’m like, “How are we alive? When we were….” Oh my goodness; yeah, and she’s like
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (22:53)
Cough
Yeah.
You
I There’s gotta be so many angels protecting kids. Seriously. Even at playgrounds.
I look at playgrounds and all the places they can fall and to their death. Yet they don’t. I haven’t heard of that ever happening. I’m sure it has, but yeah.
Chad Peper (23:14)
Yes. Yes. It’s.
But, you know, they build this this playground equipment around the fact that they are kids and they’re going to fall and get hurt and all this stuff. But still, it terrifies me. I am such an overprotective dad, and it’s probably one of my greatest faults. I’m so overprotective. But I look at these three little, beautiful little girls that I created with my wife and I’m like, man, I just…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (23:37)
Ha
Chad Peper (23:44)
don’t want anything to happen to them. In their entire life I will protect them as much as I can.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (23:50)
So, with that in mind, how are you going to teach them about addiction and alcohol? And when are you going to do this? Like how young? Because I started insanely young with my kids because I felt like if I don’t teach them, someone else will. And I might not like the way they teach them. And it seems like a lot of these really horrific things that we hear about happening to children are happening younger and younger and younger. And so…your thoughts on that and encouragement to parents who are really weary or uncomfortable about talking about those things.
Chad Peper (24:22)
We have we are pretty much very very open with with them regardless of how old they We really don’t hide anything from them for the exact reason that we’re talking
I don’t think I…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (24:38)
Do you tell them about your history? just what you struggled with?
Chad Peper (24:43)
Sort of. I got in a car with a drunk driver and broke my back. That may even have been part of the cause for addiction,
I broke my back. And so my body is literally riddled with scars. And of course, they see me walking around without a shirt on or whatever, and they will ask about it. And I am very upfront with them. I’m like, this is what happened. This is why it happened.
And this is why I’m at the point where I’m at and I don’t drink alcohol or beer or anything like that. So we are very upfront on our past; my past. The only thing that we haven’t really dove into yet is the biological dad. Yeah. And that will come up. Yeah, that will come up in due time.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (25:30)
Well, yeah, I don’t see a reason for that necessarily at this point.
Chad Peper (25:37)
And I go back and forth on it. Do I tell them? Do they really need to know? Well…. They kindof do because of the DNA that is in them; the genes that are in them. Why are they this way? And that’s the only reason that I dove into it as much as I did was because what makes me is going to be in them now. And so I want to know exactly who they are, where they come from.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (26:03)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (26:07)
And all that fun stuff in between. So is there an age? No. We are very honest and open in this house and that’s the way that we choose to do it. You said you started at a young age and how you chose to do it. And I don’t fault anyone who has issues that they want to hide. or It’s just just how we choose to do it. Right?
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (26:34)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And every child’s different, too. So you kind of have to be intuitive about how you, do things with different kids. With that said, just because you’re firm-set in one way, you might want to consider meditating on that and maybe changing things for the child is different than the one you thought you would be raising. Or their needs might be different than what you think your needs are, if that makes any sense. So…
Chad Peper (26:37)
Yes.
Exactly.
Yes, yes, yes.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (27:03)
Yeah, you have any words for people who don’t believe it’s possible to quit in a day? Like you did. I mean, it was literally like, cold turkey; done! You made the choice. All other options were cut off and you haven’t drank since. How long has it been?
Chad Peper (27:22)
It will be eight years this year.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (27:25)
That’s significant.
Do you have any concern about ever falling back into that again, or is that done, finished, never going back? yeah.
Chad Peper (27:33)
Never. Never going back.
And I look at it and I still amaze myself.
Prior to this talk that we’re having, there’s one day a year that I brag about it. And my wife questioned me this year. She’s like, “Why do you put it on social media that…on why you’re sober, how long you’ve been sober…?” And I’m like, “Because it’s one day a year that I will brag the blipity blip blip.
Wwear words that I will will I will brag the significance of this about myself. It is something that I am very proud of considering I look back at where I was to where I am now with that single day: “This is it!” And that was.
So it’s the one one day a year, November 18th, that I brag every single time.
And I will do it until the day that I am done and gone.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (28:36)
I love that. I mean, I think it is it is absolutely magnificent reason to celebrate; it’s basically your– the way I see it–it’s your redemption day. You changed; your heart changed; you became a different person because you decided that that that’s the old person. I ‘Thank you for all of the learning experiences. Don’t want to do that anymore. This is the new version of me.’ And to embrace that new
Chad Peper (28:38)
And
Yeah. Yes.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (29:01)
person completely and to love that new person so completely that you wouldn’t ever be willing to succumb the you you are now to that–ever again.
Chad Peper (29:11)
Yep. And there are, you know, my wife, she will have a drink occasionally. She is not a big drinker by any means. She’ll have one. She’s like, “Do you ever think you’ll have one with me sometime?” I don’t think so. It’s not something that…. I don’t want to even question it. Like… if I were to have a drink with her, what would happen? Would I fall back into it?
Could it be just that one drink and that was it? I don’t even want to question it. I don’t want to think about it. It’s not because if if I did fall back in it would it would cause just major rifts between our relationship.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (29:44)
Not worth it.
Chad Peper (29:56)
If I were to fall back in, it would ruin everything that I have built with my life. And by that I mean my marriage and my kids. And on the flip side, would it be the only one drink? Maybe. But it’s not something I want to entertain. I don’t even want to think about it. That past life is behind me. And going forward, this is who I am. I am this proud
Dad, proud husband, I am out there dancing in a tutu on a soccer field in ice skates. You know, I can combine everything. That would be me. I would be on the soccer field in ice skates, dancing in a tutu.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (30:34)
And that’s… Yeah.
Chad Peper (30:45)
That’s who I am.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (30:45)
And that’s what I want this podcast, this program to be encouraging, all about, and give lots of examples to people of this could be you too. That essentially I’m encouraging listeners to give up something forever. And no matter what that is, it could be cookies or maybe just chocolate chips. But to say, I don’t do that anymore. If you struggle with obesity, maybe that’s the thing. And to embrace like, now I…
Chad Peper (31:06)
Yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (31:11)
do this. I used to do that; now I do this, and it becomes a part of your identity. And once it’s decided, it’s very easy to say, “No.” And I can honestly say that my personal virtue when it came to sexual activity before I was married…. It wasn’t always easy. I would want to engage sometimes, but I made the decision as a child, literally, that
That was not something I was ever going to be willing to do, and I stuck by that until, I got married the third time. I’ve only had sexual relationships in marriage. And a lot of people think that that’s not possible, that, it’s not realistic to think that someone could do that. But I know personally people who have; even famous…can’t remember them off the top of my head, but there are people on this planet…. I think it’s about 5%. It’s not a large segment of the population…. that decided.
And when you decide, everything changes. It’s almost like the universe just comes behind you and sustains that decision and will help you, and everything else falls away.
Chad Peper (32:19)
It is, and when I first started talking about this, it is not just my battle with addiction and alcohol. It caused such great depression as well. They went hand in hand for me. And once I tackled one, I was able to successfully tackle the other. And they probably happened at the same time, but to me they went hand in hand. And of course,
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (32:20)
Ahem.
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (32:49)
Everybody has their down days and I do as well. But it does not define who I am now.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (32:59)
Right. Do you ever look back and can you be grateful for what you’ve been through? Does that resonate at all?
Chad Peper (33:01)
I am
Absolutely.
Because everything that I have gone through, I look back often and I’m like, ‘Man; if I could go and change how things happened, I would.’ And that is not true at…would not change a single thing, because it would not put me to where I am right now. I would not be this husband; this dad.
I would not have the things that I have had something else happened.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (33:38)
It’s very humbling when you realize where you were. it’s you look back and it’s like to me, I’m just like, man, I can’t believe I did that. now, but, but I did. And to be grateful…. And it’s that humility, I think is what makes the triumph so sweet. It’s not a pride. It’s a, it’s a, it’s a form of gratitude where I can know that if I went back to doing all the things that I did, of course I would…
Chad Peper (33:40)
It is very humbling.
Yes.
Yeah, I…
I can… Yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (34:07)
become who I was. But that’s not even remotely what I want anymore.
Chad Peper (34:12)
Yeah, I look back and one of the biggest things in my life was my accident and breaking just every bone in my body basically. And I can remember I was unable to care for myself. So my parents at the time they rented a hospital bed that I was able to stay in at their house. And I can remember sitting in my wheelchair staring out their patio door and I’m like, ‘This is it. I am going to end it.
I can’t live like this. I don’t want to sit in a wheelchair and stare out the back of their house at nothing.’ I seriously thought, ‘I’m done. I can’t…I’m not gonna live like this. I’m not gonna go through the rest of my life with these aches and pains and learn how to walk again for whatever reason.’
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (34:43)
Hmm.
Chad Peper (35:05)
I didn’t make that decision. I went on with my life and things progressed. Going through that a few different times in my life, throughout my life, for whatever reason, figuratively, I never pulled that trigger. I never put that wheel in motion. And I am here and I’m grateful for it. And getting back to what we were saying, I would not have changed any single thing about my journey to where I’m at.
I would not have met my wife. I would not have found my job and met my wife and gone camping and then come back to find out that we’re having a child. I would not learned all the things in my life that I’ve learned had I skipped, gone back and skipped a portion of it.
I know I’ve told you, have gone through a lot in my life.
I’m sure we will dive into it again in future podcasts. You’ll come on mine; I’ll come on yours. I have gone through so much that, and I joke about it, but I’m getting to the point where I’m half serious now. Like I need to write a And I need to write a biography and just put my life’s happenings onto paper because I tell you what, I…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (36:21)
Yeah, I’d read your book.
Chad Peper (36:34)
I can go on and on about everything that has happened to me in my life and I think I may have to do it because I would be the most interesting man in the room every time. They would look at me like, are you serious? How does this happen? How does so many things happen to one individual
But I tell you what; the last line of my book, it would be, would not be who I am today had not all of these things happened in my life. And to quote Michael Scott, “Somehow we manage.” But here I am. I would not change a thing.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (37:26)
Thank you so much for agreeing to be part of this podcast today. I think your life experience is invaluable. I think it will give hope to many who struggle, specifically, especially with chemical addiction to alcohol. It’s not a uncommon thing, especially after COVID. I feel like it just went crazy. People are struggling more than ever before. More people are dying from alcohol overdoses than ever before. I was reading that just this week, which makes me really sad. And it’s not that it’s easy to get to that point where you can quit, but it’s possible. And you can, once you get to that moment of decision and it’s just getting you to that moment of decision that we want to do so that you can be free of this prison. Yeah.
Chad Peper (38:10)
It is, yeah, it is just getting there. And, and so Wisconsin has historically been one of the drunkest states in, the union, right? And it’s absolutely crazy. If you look at like by counties or cities or whatever in Wisconsin is just always there. And let me tell you what, you know, if, I can do it…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (38:22)
I’m gonna shoot.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Now, I don’t want to forget. I’m sorry. Keep going.
Chad Peper (38:39)
living in one of the drunkest states and the drunkest areas of the state, man, anybody can do it.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (38:46)
How important do you feel like a support system is in recovery? Because I know you said that you had to have a unique situation where you didn’t have to cut off all of your drinking friends because they were really supportive of you. They didn’t encourage you to keep drinking. But that’s not always the case.
Chad Peper (39:02)
Yep.
It’s not always the case and that the support system is it’s it’s so beneficial.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (39:05)
Ahem.
Chad Peper (39:12)
For me. And it comes in different forms, right? For me, my wife has told me straight out; she’s like, “If you go back to the way you ever were….” Not that it’s ever crossed my mind…. “If you were to go back to the way you were, the girls and I would not be here.”
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (39:16)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (39:29)
That’s it. That’s a form of support right there, right?
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (39:31)
Yeah, this spousal support, for sure.
Chad Peper (39:34)
And my good friends; it’s not even a thing. They know I don’t; they know it’s choice that I made.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (39:40)
Hmm.
Chad Peper (39:45)
And yeah, it’s a…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (39:47)
So it shows that you don’t necessarily have to cut off everyone in your life if they’re supportive, like genuinely supportive, because I think there’s definitely situations where people pretend to be supportive, but they really have other ideas. So it’s…. intuitive, but the-
Chad Peper (39:52)
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah. So I think of my closest friends. I have a couple brothers that are really close to me and a couple friends. I can probably count them on one hand. One of them is one of my oldest friends. He was also one of my greatest drinking buddies. Like everything that we did together, we were drinking at the time. Whether it was going to baseball games, going hunting, ice fishing.
Whatever we were doing, it involved drinking. We still do that. He’s still one of my closest friends. Just take out the part where I was drinking and it made no difference in our relationship. I often have said, “I am still the crazy, son of a B that I was then.” I just take out part of the equation and it doesn’t have anything to do with who I was…
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (40:58)
Mm-hmm.
Chad Peper (40:59)
or who I am. one of my other closest friends; he’s been friends with me. can remember him coming to school in second grade. That’s how long that we basically been friends. to the same college together for a while. He also, he may drink now a little bit, but I know for a while he quit. And good for him. You know? it never comes into question with him either.
My brothers, they will have their occasional drinks. They can control it. Very proud of them for being able to do it. I can’t; they don’t question anything. If we have get togethers, they make sure they have diet soda for me. I’m a diabetic as well.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (41:39)
Yeah, that is amazing. I mean, and it’s unusual. I feel like it’s unusual. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know. I guess I don’t have that experience to know for myself. But I have one more question for you, and that is, what do you feel makes life worth living?
Chad Peper (41:48)
Yeah.
Love.
Yeah, the love that I feel for my kids and my wife.
It’s what the definition, the generalized definition of what love is, that’s what I feel. And I am reciprocated that back. To my girls, I am the greatest person in the world, along with their mother, of course. But they look up to everything that we do. My wife will agree.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (42:35)
Yeah, they really do try to copy us too. mean, it, yeah.
Chad Peper (42:38)
Yes, yes, absolutely they do, they do. And my wife loves me unconditionally. And by combining all of these things that we have talked about, it’s….
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (42:45)
Mm.
Chad Peper (42:53)
Sure; I have had a tough life. I don’t look for sympathy but that tough life gives me the greatest life that I have right now. I would not have changed anything about it and love.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (43:10)
So what would you say, sorry to ask another question, but just to clarify, for those who don’t feel that there’s anyone in their life right now who they can rely on or trust; they feel alone, essentially, which I’ve heard is kind of at the crux of addiction, is no connection. So what advice would you have for someone who does not feel loved or the ability to love right now?
Chad Peper (43:13)
Yeah, I know.
You know what? This may sound funny and it may not sound true or real but if they’re looking for somebody to love them, to talk, hey, I’m here.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (43:51)
That’s awesome. Yeah.
Chad Peper (43:53)
I’m here. If anybody wants to connect with me, give me a shout. You know, You can find me on Facebook, Chad Pepper, P-E-P-E-R, I’m like the spice, only one P in the middle.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (43:59)
Yeah, and where can people reach out to you?
If there’s other Chad
Peppers, which one are you?
Chad Peper (44:12)
Don’t think there is. We have the most unique name. But I also have a podcast, “Doing our Best. That’s it There’s a there’s a I don’t know if I don’t think I have website yet. I have the social media on Instagram and Facebook and the ticky-tack whatever I don’t know how to use it. My wife gives me a hard time because I….
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (44:21)
A website for that?
Yeah.
Chad Peper (44:40)
TikTok whatever You can find me out there. Yeah. Yeah, boy me that’s it’s gonna be gone here soon because like…whatever. But yeah; I should be only one on on Facebook Chad Pepper; P-E-P-E-R. Yep, no two P’s; like like the spice only one P in the middle and I’m serious
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (44:43)
That’s for kids.
Yeah.
Chad Peper (45:05)
If you need somebody to talk to, I say it all the time and I’ve said it to many of my friends
I am available anytime. I may not be happy about it at the moment, but I will always be here. good friend of mine, Corduroy Brown. He’s a musician I met a few years ago. Hails from Huntington, West Virginia. And I tell him every single time how amazing he is and he reciprocates that. And I tell him, I’m like, ‘You ever need anybody to talk to at any time, whether it’s three o’clock in the morning, it’s one in the afternoon, you can call me. I may not always have the time, but I will make it. I will find the time.
Life is precious. I am living proof that you can have the exact life that you want. And you don’t want the support, you want to talk, you want to…”Doin’ Our Best.” That’s what we are doing.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (46:03)
I mean, look at your past. It was pretty horrific. And I think a lot of people struggle with that. ‘Well, I don’t deserve it. I’ve done so many bad things. It’s over for me. And….’ get over it. Chad got over it. I don’t mean that to sound harsh, but stop living in the past. Yes, you’ve done things. We’ve all done things. And you might think, but I’m the worst. No, you’re not. Like, there’s a lot of people who have done horrible things, who healed and made the world a better place…
Chad Peper (46:06)
Yes.
Yeah, it really is.
Yes.
No, you’re not. Yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (46:31)
from here on out. We’re not perfect, but we do the best we can. We’re doing our best. Your podcast name.
Chad Peper (46:32)
There’s a lot of healing that. Yeah.
Yes.
And, know, whatever it is, whatever it is. Like if somebody wants to call, because they play video games and they don’t have anybody to talk to about video games. I am a well-versed man. Like I have put my hand in anything. Nowadays, I may not do the video games. I may be more into reading one of my 400 books that I have to go through to read because I love to read. But really, whatever it is.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (46:52)
Hahaha!
You
Chad Peper (47:06)
You you want to it here. Yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (47:06)
And thank you for that offer. And I hope that those of you who listening who are thinking, ⁓ ‘Ooooh….I really shouldn’t bother him.’ Please bother him. He’s offering to help you. Reach out to him. Even if it, like, please. So thank you so much again for being here today. I know you have kids to pick up from the bus. So I probably need to let you go to go do your amazing dad thing. And this is the Overcome Depression podcast. I’m Jennifer Stirling-Campbell.
Chad Peper (47:15)
Yeah, really. Yes.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Jennifer Stirling-Campbell (47:36)
See you next time.
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